To Latvia with love

Counting down 3 days to Latvia!

missing everyone

sitting in front of the laptop browsing at ppl's fb profile... yup, tat's wat i've been doing for the past hour in another city in my fren's room and realising that so many things happen when i'm not really around and busy travelling around east europe...

gosh i miss those ppl! esp those from CA last time... we'd gone thru so much together, so much fun, laughter, tears... and slowly i m beginning to lose contact wif them, one by one... sooner or later, we will turn out to be complete strangers to each other and i don wan tat to happen...

it is so hard to keep in touch wif ppl if u don take the extra effort and time to do it... and esp in a new environment where ur life seems to be always occupied by sth, then the priority of 'frens' u r willing to invest ur time on tends to be neglected...

to let go or not to let go... sigh

What would it cost me if i post this?

i think most ppl will be 'terasa' if i post this but trust me, this has nth to do wif u personally... it's juz my opinion, nth personal... if u take it personally then it's ur own risk... ahaha...

ok, i went to frankfurt on sat to fetch a bunch of juniors... then i stayed in radolfzell til sunday bcoz i wud like to spend some time wif them n shared some of my experience n also giv some advices n warnings of things to come so tat they can be mentally prepared... of coz there r other seniors as well n frankly speaking, different ppl hav different purposes to go there, the main one being - girls... haha

n of coz the highlight of the day being the placement results... actually i hav the least interest in it coz whoever my juniors are, i will treat them the same... but apparently for the others, they r quite keen to noe who are their direct juniors...

so when the results are out, i am actually surprised that some ppl wud be disappointed when they found out who their juniors are... i mean, does it make any difference who will be studying where? it is their own choice right? and wud u treat them differently if ur juniors were other ppl instead? this does not only apply to seniors who were there but also seniors who called afterwards asking - berapa cina, melayu or india?

come on lah...

we are all jpa scholars... we are so called, the future of malaysia... and i m actually surprise to find out tat ppl who asked the race of their juniors are actually ppl i tot who were broad minded... and one more thing tat bother me is tat they will blame other ppl because of the placement of juniors whereas it's all depending on their own choice n results...

once again, i wud like to emphasize tat this is NOT a personal attack on anyone, i juz wan to voice out my thoughts about this... finally i stil don understand the point of having how many cina, melayu n india juniors?

future leaders of Malaysia... wake up plz! Malaysia needs u...

Next step.

one year.
til 13/06/2012
what i have done?
what i am doing?
where i will go?
stay tune.

True happiness,
is not having what you want,
but wanting what you have.

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Be the change!

My roots... part 1

Chén (traditional Chinese: 陳; simplified Chinese: 陈; pinyin: Chén; Wade-Giles: Ch'en) is one of the most common Chinese family names. It ranks at the 5th most popular surname in Mainland China and the most popular surname in Singapore and Taiwan. Chen is also the most common family name in Guangdong, Zhejiang, Fujian (spelled Tan or Chin in Singapore and Malaysia), Hong Kong (spelt Chan in Hong Kong) and Macau. It is usually romanised as Chan in Cantonese, and sometimes as Chun. In Min (including dialects of Chaozhou (Teochow), Hainan, Fujian, and Taiwan), the name is pronounced Tan. In Hakka and Toisan, the name is spelt and pronounced as Chin. Some other Romanisations include Zen (from Wu), Ding and Chern

In Vietnam, this surname is written in Quoc Ngu as Trần, and is the second most popular Vietnamese surname, accounting for 11% of the population,[1] after the surname Nguyễn (38.4%).

Chen is also a Hebrew name used by Israelis. It is pronounced khen, and means grace or favour

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Help!

What is this feeling?

butterflies in your stomach...

What is the motivation behind?

The famous inscription on the main entrance to the former concentration camp of Dachau

Ya so i have been visiting this place during the weekend. I don't really have any expectations before i went, but after the trip i start to ask myself, what is the motivation behind ppl(me) who actually visit places like this. For example, if you plan a trip to China, you will automatically go to Beijing to visit the great wall of China because they say if u never seen a section of the great wall, u have never been to China. So wat about visiting concentration camps? Why do visitors have the interest to join a tour of any concentration camps?

Well if you are expecting answers for me, technically it's juz pure curiosity that brings me to this place, i wanted to see it out of Germany's point of view since i've been to one in Poland. But if i were to ask myself about the motivation behind visiting this-sad-place, i still need time to think about it. It's such a mixture of feelings deep inside me towards mankind.

Lately, I've been dealing wif a lot of raging hormones and overwhelming mental activites. When i thought i can't stand it anymore because i magnify every single feeling and emotions and that's why it become so overwhelimg, i am reminded once again, that it is a wacky world we're living in. Why not take everything like a pinch of salt and really, for once, just learn how to let go and let God. Going without knowing - i desperately need to learn that.

False closeness

one thing i really learn during the weekend is how blessed i am to have real frens around me, whom i don need to exchange my deepest  n ugliest secrets wif but still love me as i am...

pfft... who needs a boyfriend when i can hav best friends around...

Stories from Scampen - part 1

i freaking drank a bottle of apfelschorle through a smelly sock (which happens to belong to a girl standing next to me). nuff said.

notice how everyone here only has one sock on.

after that, people were coming up to me and ask me why did i even want to do it. hmmm. why did i not think of it before gulping the whole bottle down?

So since it happen already, might as well learn sth from it.

and during Scampen, i realise one thing, that i have been in Germany for 4 years already. Before i knew it,  i m getting a tad bit older than when i first arrive and i realise how all my dreams and passion are being buried over the years because of studies and ministry and etc.

so again the question, what does drinking apfelschorle through a sock has to do with getting old?

well it make me realise that i am not as physically and mentally weak than i thought i would be. If i can survive drinking liquid through smelly socks, i can surely survive sleeping on hard cement floor in Latvia for one week! there you go, funny how a wacky game can give so much inspirations to people.

Signing off,
Pat-who-will-be-going-on-short-term-mission-trip-before-turning-25

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not the intended one posted...

i actually wanted to post sth which was running around in my head, mainly about the aftermath of the sibu by-election but then i feel like it's too much of political stuffs around (and i still want my scholarship) haha so i decided to write about sth different... no more politics... watever happens, i remain neutral... ok, maybe not... haha

n this time, it's about my recent trip to the capital of Germany, Berlin...

frankly, i din actually plan for this trip, i don even bother checking wat are the must-see-places there coz i was thinking of meeting people mostly (i juz don wan to admit tat i m simply lazy), n i m glad i met a wonderful bunch of berliners* and a big shoutout to Mr Z, the best senior in the whole world! who despite having 2 reports* to write and hand in the next week, stil brought me around visiting places n people...

during this trip, i met a girl who told me that generally germans are quite ashamed of their own history and i agreed... but that was before i took a city tour wif the coolest tour guide whose story telling skills totally blows you off n the way she presented the whole history of berlin in just a few hours of the tour make me excited even about the fact that i m actually in berlin... during my last summer trip to poland, i've learned about europe during second world war and about the uprising of the national socialist party or widely known as the nazis and their downfall... then i came back to germany not knowing what happen after tat, n this time in berlin, i relearn again the history of europe from the germany point of view...

after the second world war there's the division between east and west germany (go read urself if u r interested about this) and berlin being in east germany is again being split into east and west berlin (confusing right? then it's time to visit berlin n get it all right...) so who's the government now? west berlin then was under a jointly occupation of the 4 allied powers and east berlin under the soviet rule... then come the berlin wall who separated the whole of berlin into 2 parts overnight... basically it's a tragic! and after dunno how many years, a misleading press statement leads to the fall of the wall... how interesting could it be? berlin wall came down because of a small mistake during a press conference???!!!

ok so after the press conference, of coz ppl were all hyped out... after so many years being separated n suddenly this big boss came out n said berlin is unified again... so ppl began to march to the wall and it was so overwhelming tat the border guards decide to put down their weapons n let the ppl thru... n the day was 9th of september, 1989... who would thought that berlin is such a young city! so once again, the power of ppl overcome the authority of the east german government tat had kept them confined all these years... so i said, germans! be proud of urselves!

ok i shud stop typing n go back to my studies... ok, as u can see from my post, i look calm n smart, but i m neither both! juz realise tat i lost my second bike this year n i m not happy at all! n exams coming out in 1 month time n i m freaking out now!!!! arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!! omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg! do u sense my nervousness n restlessness n helplessness now???

***Footnotes
1*berliner in german means a lot of things, first a donut wif fillings or second, ppl who lives in berlin, and third, it also refers to the late president of usa, J.F.Kennedy

2*report in german means unending work to do, to understand this, u hav to understand that behind every report, there's sth going on, eg. a lab experiment or a research topic or a group project, n behind that is another round of preparations for either a lab or discussions and behind that is again sleepless nights or nightmares which you don understand at all coz they are all in german and behind that is a short celebration of the previous report you hav manage to put in during the very last minute and behind that is the writing of the report n the process continue EVERY damn semester... ok u get the rough idea of wat a report is now...

World Cup 2010

i was never a big football fan or soccer, whatever u call it... but for some reasons i never knew, i will always make an effort to watch some matches during the world cup... yesterday was the first match btw South Africa n Mexico (never knew that south africa is a name of a country b4) and watching the last few mins of the match juz bring back some memories...

8 years ago, i remembered that it was after midnight, n i was in secondary sch... n as a secondary sch student, usually u r not allowed to stayed up so late to watch tv... however, tat night was the quater final match btw south korea n i-forgot-which-country-is-it-now n so i decided to stayed up late n don care bout my mum's nagging to watch it... it was a match i wud never forget, south korea manage to score a goal during the last minutes of the game n entered the finals... or is it a third-fourth placing game? nvm... back then, i dunno wat is the meaning of offside, or was it offset?

4 years ago, world cup was held in Germany, the most annoying world cup i've ever experienced, nearly 8 out of 10 ppl asked me about Germany n whether i will be there to watch it or not? the problem is, i juz knew tat i wud be studying in Germany 2 years LATER, n i noe nth bout Germany back then... n so it was the finals btw france n again-i-forgot-which-country-is-it-already, n there i were with Miss J n Miss S, my friends from kindergarten (goodness, when can u hav the chance to watch a world cup final with ur kindy frens?) n the location was in one of the tv room of my college hostel... n who could ever forget the famous headbutt from Zidane? n i thought i knew wat offside means back then...

n fast forward to present days, here i m in a small town in Germany n experiencing the football heat here... i think this wud be the most patriotic time for the Germans because i see german flags everywhere around my hostel... n even my uni has a live viewing of the first match outdoors, talking about football fever!

so wat is the point i m trying to make here? recalling the experience from the previous 2 world cups, i realise tat i was in different locations... it amazes me tat how funny God works in my life, n here i m again, in a new location in yet another time of world cup... although it's now the most crucial preparation time for the coming exam, i was being reminded again that i m not here by accident, i m here for a purpose n now i hav a new motivation to do wat i m doing again...

so having world cup around exam time is not so bad at all!

The author thinks that she knows what offside means now, thanks to Mr K. She will be having 7 subjects in july and hopes that she can achieve better results compared to last semester. N having all the cute footballers during this world cup time cannot stop her too!

How to love and not be loved?

Small talk
Was on skype wif my youngest bro for nearly 2 hours. Nowadays with technology, i tend to forget when is the last time i see him face to face, was it 2 years ago? and with the other sister who is currently in Sydney, i cannot recall when is the last time i saw her in reality, not virtually?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

love and not be loved (back)
as weak humans, it's always easier to love ppl who love you than to love ppl who don love you back.
as christians, it's always to love ppl first, then don care about the outcome.
being both, it's kinda contradicting.

but it cannot be, because in 1:John 4:8 it says, 'Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.'


So how exactly can we love and (not) be loved
1 John 4:19 - We love because he first loved us.

having said all that, it's after all, only head knowledge. It's the application of it that counts.  Some people just talk and never do it.  Well at least i talk about it, unlike ppl who don bother?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Outro
I juz realised tat i am a very complicated person (u mean u never knew this??? omg???) When i think that i can finally figure myself out, i realise it's another glass ceiling.  I don't really know what i want, where i wanna go (ok, maybe i do) what i wanna buy, what i wanna wear, it's time for a change!

Things i learn during the flight back home.

1.  Count your blessings
The thing about flying from munich is already a blessing itself since i usually fly back from frankfurt and what actually happen is this time i bought the ticket which requires me to fly from munich when there was a huge strike in frankfurt airport. But of coz, like murphy said, if it's deem to happen, it.will.happen. It's just a matter of perspective. So instead of being delayed because of the strike, the flight was indeed delayed n my worst nightmare was confirmed when a utility truck actually hit the A380 i m suppose to board and thus leads to missing all possible connecting flights.

2. Dubai airport
it is quite impossible to walk from one end of the airport to the other end without having major leg pain n cramps. I overestimated myself when i decided to do some sport since i will be spending 7 hours at the airport due to unforeseen circumstances (plz refer to the first point above) and i also found out that it is better to walk on the left compare to the right side due to the vast existence of europeans at the airport.

3. Talking to random strangers will make them ur bffs throughout the journey
In Munich, i was sitting alone sulking at the corner when i got approached by some pretty hot blondies. It started of with me mentioning about exams and then everyone started to shout in joy as they just finish their final papers yesterday. Then later we shared all sorts of theories behind the delay and it was a lot of fun in the midst of the unpleasant delay.
And in Dubai, as i was holding my red toshiba laptop with dangling charger everywhere looking for the most optimum place with the best internet connection and source of power, i met people who are like me, stranded and with dying laptops n smartphones. And this brought us into an unspeakable bond as we look at each other like brothers and sisters. We even took turns taking naps while the other take care of all the gadgets.
The funny thing is i don't know any names of the bffs.

4. Random ppl who pops out at the unlikely hours are lifesavers
Thanks to those who had to endure my whinings throughout the journey and simply be there to keep me out of my boredom.

5. How to react during the moment of life n death (almost)
So sometimes i do things too quickly and sometimes i just like to take my own sweet time to do sth. Both has it consequences and often i regret when i do sth too quickly and when i took too much time to decide on sth small. It's really hard to determine where the balance is n most of the time i have been swaying between 2 extremes. I do notice that this time i m still a bit hasty.

Updates :  At the point of writing this post, i am still stranded in Dubai. I swear i know the airport so well that i know how many mcds n burger king are there.

Summer 09 - the sad part...

during summer of 09, i traveled a bit wif a bunch of wonderful ppl... juz wanted to share a bit of what i did last summer...

one of the places i went is Auschwitz, one of the biggest former concentration camp in Europe... it is situated in south of Poland, near the city of Krakow...

The gate that make the news not long ago... and the notorious motto on it...


No one can understand...

one of the gas chamber tat is not destroyed..

one of the 6 gas chambers in the subcamp of Auschwitz 2...
all of them were destroyed b4 the liberation as an attempt to cover up crimes committed...

Execution wall...

The main gate...

Lost and found

I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to all, i manage to push away all ifs n doubts try to smile...

n since Mr D tries very hard to win the title of best senior n buy me a cup of Caramel Frappuccino® Blended Cream from starbucks, here u go... the best senior award goes to *drumrolls Mr DT ... happy?

haha... i m allowed to cheer myself up after all tat has happened right?

so anyone free for an Eiscafe on this wonderful sunny morning?

identity (in God)

will the real pat the fat cat plz stand up?

Best Offers for Green Toys Build-a-Bouquet Floral Arrangement Playset

Green Toys Build-a-Bouquet Floral Arrangement Playset

Brand : Green Toys

Amazon.com Price : $21.13

Features Green Toys Build-a-Bouquet Floral Arrangement Playset

Inspire design and creativity
Great play value for tiny hands and fingers
Made from 100% recycled plastic milk jugs
No BPA, Phthalates, PVC or external coatings

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Descriptions Green Toys Build-a-Bouquet Floral Arrangement Playset

Green Toys Build-a-Bouquet Floral Arrangement Playset

With the Green Toys Build-a-Bouquet set, budding florists ages two years and up can create multiple floral arrangements. Made in the USA from 100 percent recycled plastic milk jugs, this set contains 44 brightly colored pieces to play with. Kids can stack the vibrant lilies, petunias, and daisies in the assorted stems to reveal colorful bouquet creations.

Manufactured entirely in the USA and made from 100% recycled plastic milk jugs.
View larger.

Customize Floral Arrangements with Interchangeable Flowers

The Build-a-Bouquet set includes 4 flower bases, 16 stem and leaf pieces, and 24 flower pieces to choose from. Kids can stack the interchangeable pieces in a number of configurations to create bright floral arrangements. Place the completed bouquets in a playroom for a fun accent, or leave them out for kids to take down and rebuild as their imagination sees fit.

Made with Earth-Friendly Materials

Green Toys products are made from 100 percent recycled plastic from recycled milk jugs. This saves energy, reduces greenhouse gas emissions, and minimizes the toys' carbon footprint. All Green Toys products are packaged in recycled corrugated boxes with no plastics, cellophane, or twist-ties, and are 100 percent recyclable.

Create countless floral arrangements with brightly colored flower pieces. View larger.

On average, every pound of recycled plastic used to make Green Toys products saves enough energy to run a laptop computer for a month and enough energy to power a TV for three weeks.

Green Toys are Safe

Green Toys meet all international toy safety standards and contain no BPA, PVC, or phthalates.

What's in the Box

Build-a-Bouquet set: 4 flower bases, 16 flower stems, 24 flower pieces, and storage box.

Green Toys
Build a Bouquet

At a Glance:

• Set allows kids to create custom floral arrangements
• Three varieties of interchangeable flowers
• 44-piece set is made in the USA
• Contains no BPA, PVC, or phthalates
• Made from 100 percent recycled plastic

Age/Weight Requirements:

• Two years and up

Assembly Requirements:

• Ready to play

Purpose

Last weekend was no doubt the most memorable one i ever had in my life where  a wedding, mother's day and a redefined purpose all took place.

Yup the wedding, can't believe my ex house church leaders are getting married. It seems like yesterday only when they approach me n invite me to join them and i mistaken them for being siblings rather than a couple. To me they always seem to have this secret bond between them, like this blood connection that only siblings shared.

and they live happily ever after...

Last but not least, THE bible verse to share during a wedding. Contrary to popular belief, it does not talk only about love between a couple but most importantly the love between people, disciples especially :

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Decisions, decisions...

the time has come...

my fringe has now outgrown my eyebrows, time to decide, to cut or not to cut, to keep or not to keep the fringe, m i at peace wif my heart? do i feel reluctant to cut it? will it affect my head? are my eyes happy that they will be covered? Will my ears catch a cold when they are exposed? so much things to consider!

juz a preview of my series of reflection on 2010! time to call it a wrap!

Yours truly

Mary stayed out all night...

Spoiler alert!

매리는 외박중 / Maerineun Oebakjoong

The latest craze of my life now... the only thing i look forward to on Mondays... omg, they are going to find out tat all this while 'the marriage' is fake and tat JGS is really starting to like MGY! can't wait for next monday!

my dream hair, red-purple wif wavy bob...

To-do-list

1. present for mom - checked
2. present for dad - half checked
3. present for siblings - check check check
4. present for everyone else - check check n stil checking


counting down to the last killer-paper on monday and IT IS DONE!!!!!

Reviews for New Chapter Perfect Energy Multivitamin, 72 Tablets

New Chapter Perfect Energy Multivitamin, 72 Tablets

Brand : New Chapter

Amazon.com Price : $32.54

Features New Chapter Perfect Energy Multivitamin, 72 Tablets

Certified Organic, Non-GMO Project Verified, Gluten Free, Vegetarian, Kosher
Supports endurance and recovery*
Sustained ongoing energy*
Can be taken on an empty stomach
Made with organic vegetables and herbs

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Descriptions New Chapter Perfect Energy Multivitamin, 72 Tablets

Perfect Energy is the ideal organic whole-food complexed multi-vitamin herbal and nutrient formula for those seeking enhanced energy, performance and endurance.* Energizing herbs, such as Organic Maca, Ginseng, and Rhodiola, boost energy without the crash of traditional stimulants by enhancing the body’s ability to produce energy on a cellular level.* Included in the formulation is a clinically studied proprietary grapeseed extract which provides powerful antioxidants that help optimize mitochondrial energy production, decrease muscle soreness, and promote recovery following physical exertion or other stressful events.* A complete multi-vitamin, Perfect Energy contains a combination of 23 whole-food complexed vitamins and minerals formulated to promote optimal health while targeting the nutrients your body needs to sustain energy production, like whole-food complexed Vitamins B, C, E, and Selenium.* Yet another unique feature of Perfect Energy is the Vital Rhythms blend of flower essences which encourages mental focus, fortitude, and perseverance during times of stress.*

anger management...

yesterday, i felt this huge ball of fire burning inside me, a sudden anger juz swept over me and i found out tat i cannot contain it and decided to pour out everything here... in the end, i could not find peace within me even after i post it up and then later deleted the post because i noe tat it does not glorify God...

after tat, i went n take a warm shower (i noe i m suppose to take a cold shower to cool myself down but the weather here doesn't permit it) and tat's when i hear a voice telling me,

"Why is it tat u can hate what other ppl did so much, but u can't hate the little things tat u do behind me?"

yes, i can be quick wif my emotions when i see unjust things happening, but y can't i be SO angry wif myself when the thought of not going to class or not wanting to do dishes or not wanting to shake hand wif ppl tat i tot were 'smelly' cross my mind?

maybe it's juz pms - post malaysia syndrome lah... wat were u thinking???

Best Price for Dropwise Essentials Certified Organic Body & Massage Oil - Refresh Aromatherapy Blend

Dropwise Essentials Certified Organic Body & Massage Oil - Refresh Aromatherapy Blend

Brand : Dropwise Essentials

Amazon.com Price : $21.50

Features Dropwise Essentials Certified Organic Body & Massage Oil - Refresh Aromatherapy Blend

Hand-crafted 100% pure essential oil aromatherapy blends
High-quality skin-loving certified organic jojoba oil. Naturally high in Vitamin E. Regulates and balances skin.
Excellent antioxidant-rich pre-sun and after-sun moisturizers. Ideal for all skin types. Can also be used alone or with other oils for massage.
No petroleum or synthetic ingredients
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Descriptions Dropwise Essentials Certified Organic Body & Massage Oil - Refresh Aromatherapy Blend

Our certified organic aromatherapy body oils are made with pure essential oils in a base of 100% certified organic jojoba oil and are ideal for all skin types. They're especially helpful for anyone with very dry or excessively oily skin. They are absorbed quickly and will not clog pores Use them in the shower, as an after-bath moisturizer, or as an excellent pre-sun and after-sun moisturizer. You can also use them alone or combine them with other oils for an awesome aromatherapy massage. Available in 4 oz. re-usable aluminum bottles in 5 pure essential oil aromatherapy blends: Divine, a pampering blend of lavender, geranium, clary sage, ylang ylang, and vanilla; Inspiration, an uplifting blend of orange, grapefruit, tangerine, ginger and patchouli; Refresh, a stimulating and cooling blend of spearmint, peppermint, lime and patchouli; Revitalize, a clarifying blend of geranium, lemon, cedarwood, rosemary, juniper, and eucalyptus; and Soothe, a soothing and mellow blend of lavender, chamomile, geranium, and clary sage. Relieve stress and fatigue, calm your mind, or instantly improve your mood!